"Oh boy Mommy, look Daddy, I've been accepted at large, With a two point oh GPA, And thighs the size of a barge, Do you think they liked empty, Just how pitiful mean, I look when I roll through garbage, And can't seem to keep myself clean... I study nutritions, I read the back of things blind, Why go to ECU uncle, When they'd only leave me behind, I am loved in Arizona, They must think I'm a king, 'Cause I just got my acceptance letter, And just take a look at this thing... T